if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
