I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
