About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
