man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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