12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
