I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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