he shaved USA in his pubs
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
