Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
