theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
