Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
