11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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