the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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