UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize