Don't you send me to vm
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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