i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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