Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
