I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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