Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
