That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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