I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
