Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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