i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
