Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
