I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
