I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
