haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
