so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
