I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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