He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
