One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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