I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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