is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
