Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize