This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
