white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
