I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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