I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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