I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
