i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
