Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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