Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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