This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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