there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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