Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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