Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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