She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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