Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
