Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
