dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
