i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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