yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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