i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
