How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
