THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize