Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
