Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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