There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Randomize
