She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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