My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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