Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Every concussion has its silver lining
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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