I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i now understand why vodka
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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