Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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