Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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